Many
people would argue that morality is an innate part of human nature. Because we
as a species use reason in addition to instinct, our behaviour is more or less
dictated by the morality we feel best integrates us into this world. When we do
something "good", we are servicing our morality. Conversely, when we
do something "bad" we are ignoring whatever moral rules we operate
on.
I'd
like to propose that morality may be something a little more contrived than just a
natural part of ourselves. I believe we can forge morality by introducing
elements like educators, social groups, environmental pressures, and our own
psychological and philosophical reflections. For example, when we watch a show
about a meth-cooking family man being pushed to do really shitty things, we are
subconsciously analyzing our own morality simultaneously. When Mr. White turns
into Heisenberg, the reason the transformation makes us react so strongly is
because it is throwing a subtle challenge to the way we would act in those same
situations. I would never do that. How
could he be so cruel? Etc.
Stories
have a great way of challenging us. Questioning human behaviour in general is
necessarily questioning your own. And stories really do have the power to
change us because they're also the tool we've been using since we could walk
and talk to not only make sense of the world, but also to teach ourselves how
to make sense of it. Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Moses, Zeus, Socrates, Horus, etc
are stories to us. This is no insult or challenge to their truth or status,
just what they are directly to us. No one alive has seen these people/beings.
They are stories about people that have been passed on to direct us today.
Leaving the religious element out of it, they make up what can be considered to
an extent a series of mythologies that are easy to remember, rich, in-depth,
wise, and inspiring stories of beings capable of doing extraordinary things. We
look up to the protagonists of these stories because they teach us things about
ourselves. Inspire us to do and be more.
From my
own experiences on this earth, I've seen a large disconnect from people and the
stories they choose to model themselves after. We live such fast-paced and busy
lives that it's easy to just go through the motions, never stopping to reflect
on what we're doing or why. We just trust that we've developed enough about
ourselves up to this point to be a participant of society.
This is
why I love superheroes.
To me,
comic book characters and culture is a modern mythology. They introduce to us
characters that are so fast, so strong, so smart, and so powerful that all find
themselves incapable of living problem-free lives. This is what keeps them
interesting and also where we find them to be useful to us in more than just an
entertaining way. The fact that Batman blames himself for something he couldn't
have possibly stopped makes him very human to us. Iron-Man's addiction to drugs
and alcohol reminds us that even the most bad-ass, on-top-of-the-world people
have demons they go home to. Peter Parker still needs to find a way for his
broke-ass to pay the rent at the end of the month. And we all have a little
Hulk in us, a monster that we unleash when we're pushed to the breaking point.
Like Hulk, we also get angry and smash, ruining our own life and the lives
around us when we let the beast take over.
Superheroes
are our version of Shakespeare. The media just extends beyond the panels of a
comic book. TV shows, movies, graphic novels, toys, lunchboxes, bumper
stickers, video games, etc. Comics are all around us and have the potential to
reveal our true self to ourselves. At face value, you can grab a bag of popcorn
and watch Thor kick some serious ass for two hours. But if you dig deeper, you
find the story of a man torn between what his parents expect of him and what he
truly wants to do with his life.
There's
a hero out there for you too. One seemingly designed to address the same
questions you have about yourself and your own demons. What do I do about my addiction? How do I get motivated to do something
with my life? Why am I so alone and isolated? Why should I be good if bad
things happen to good people?
If
nothing else, these stories and characters provide ideals we should strive
towards. And going forward, I am going to be doing blog posts profiling the
more profound and philosophical elements to a number of characters. Maybe I can
convince you that these grown men wearing tighty-whitey underwear over their
spandex leggings are more than just thug-crushing, flamboyant, 12-year-old boy
fantasies.
Comic
books have historically given writers the outlet to make social and political
commentaries that no other medium could provide. They are allowed to take
creative license with things that no one else dared even talk about. Granted,
the internet has broadened our ability to target controversial issues, but the
vibrant colours and oversized text boxes from the pages of comic book stories
have long addressed the same issues we're only starting to open today. Enjoy
the series.
If you've spoken to me for a duration longer than 5 minutes in the last 6 months, you would know that notions of masculinity or "being a man" has been something I am unable to stop contemplating. It must be the stage of where I am at in my biological and physiological development, where my body is accepting the fact that it is no longer a boy's body. But the question emerges for me: what really makes somebody a man? I can tell you for sure that it isn't how full my facial hair is now, or being addressed with the prefix Mister. What is harder tell you is what being a man really is. Being raised with minimal male influence, I've found now that I may have missed the boat on some key elements that every male should be exposed to. This is not to say that all guys with a male influence around are definite experiencers of manhood, but it certainly doesn't hurt their chances.
Only now am I able to take a step away from myself and try to look as objectively at my upbringing as possible. I can see that my biology had naturally gravitated towards things that would idealize what I now understand to be traits common of manhood. Things like my undying adoration and constant investigation of superheroes and comic book culture has greatly shaped my conception of what it means to be a man. Music, novels and movies have also helped forge the features of masculinity. I'd like to share with you however, what the greatest mentor I have ever had (or ever will have) has introduced me to. Elliott Hulse has exposed me to an ancient archetype of manhood that outlines the four elements of a complete man. These four elements are:
Lover Warrior Magician King
As far as I can determine my judgments presently, these are the four elements that need to be developed about a male in order to make him a man. In a moment I will be going over very briefly what each element entails and how it forges a solidarity of manhood. But first, the following video gives a great introduction into what anybody's life, not just a man's, should ultimately attempt to embody. A hero's journey. One that looks to conquer the self and transcend limitations. In other words, this hero journey is the what and the King-Warrior-Magician-Lover archetype is the how.
Jason Silva's "A Hero's Journey"
Shots of Awe on YouTube
A hero's journey, although genderless and without discrimination, is pursued differently by man and woman. This is how the K-W-M-L fits. This is the man's how to the hero's journey. Each male has and needs to develop each of the following four parts of his self in order to become a complete man and this is definitely the way I envision attaining a form of manhood I will be content in living.
Lover
This is the part of a man that gives gratitude and repays the nourishment he has received from the earth and its fruitful, life-giving supplements. This is the poetic side of man. His emotional and most in-tune with the earth and his spirituality. This is where man develops the friendships and the partnerships with not only those nurturing people around him, but with himself. The lover creates your values, but does not necessarily deliver them. This is the part of the man that cries when he watches the last scene in Forrest Gump or becomes overwhelmed with the birth of his first child. The lover only tells truth because the lover is not capable of denying the earth what it is owed. And not only the earth in its planet form, but the earth in the people the lover loves. This is the part of a man that looks his partner through the eyes and into the soul and allows himself to release the most vulnerable words he could ever find the courage to muster - "I love you". And you must believe the lover when he says this thing. This part of the man is not attractive or endearing - this is the part of the man he exposes his soft side to someone he deems worthy of his love and affection. This is a man at his most vulnerable, and that's okay. A complete man must know his weaknesses in order to develop his strengths. And although the lover approaches what he loves with open arms, he does so with a sword strapped to his side.
Warrior
This is the part of a man that clenches his sword with a hand that is uncompromising and decisive. A warrior man is able to commit to a goal and stop at nothing to make sure that his mission is satisfied. This is where a man cuts the chains of his oppressors and slays the dragon to save the village. This can come in many forms - and rest assured, they're not all Medieval in nature. A warrior is a man who doesn't allow himself to get bullied at work or the part of a man that is able to find the courage to ask his boss for a raise. This is the part of a man that sees his challenge and attempts it regardless of how awful the situation seems. This man keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. But not in such a way that he becomes a spy or paranoid, but in a way that makes him know that he is in control and that enemies are just obstacles. The warrior kills but with purpose. In 2014, this can take the form of breaking off "friendships" that slow you down rather than help you out. Ultimately, a warrior is decisive and eager. He is proud of his being male and is incapable of being hurt or slain by any battle. This is the guy that gets insulted by people looking to destroy his journey but he ignores them. Even if they're your parents or your friends or your lovers. The warrior is sure of himself to the point of ignorance. He is confident in his ability but more so, he is confident in himself. This guy doesn't let the idea of getting drunk at a downtown bar the night before a final exam detract him from doing the thing he's supposed to. This is more or less the traditional and incomplete depiction of a man. But this is inaccurate and resembles perhaps the evolutionary-biological man. This is the part of the man that takes his sword and spreads a strong seed.
Magician
This is the most mysterious and most endearing part of a man. This is a man's utility. Is a man charismatic? Does he have a skill or trade? Do his words make sense? Can this man sell a snow cone to a polar bear? These are all domains that belong to the magician part of a man. The magician is seductive in that his tricks, illusions, skills and ability are both sexually attractive and real-world useful. Many dudes are born with strong inclinations towards being a magician, but this is a part that can be developed like any other of the four elements of a man. People with the natural ability find themselves in careers where their words can penetrate and seduce almost anyone. Think: politicians and entertainment business.The people you idolize most are magicians in their own right. If you have a musical artist, an actor, director, celebrity, painter, motivational speaker, teacher, professor, doctor, or any person you admire for something they do, then their magic has seduced you. Every man needs to develop the magic he casts on the earth. A man who does not develop worth in skills or ability (magic) is unable to contribute to society. He becomes a subordinate in some way or another to a man who was courageous and warrior-like enough to find the discipline to create utility. Essentially, the magician is a master of his craft. He has developed his skills in such a way that without him, the village suffers because production in some capacity is lost.
King
The ultimate responsibility of man. This is the strongest and most fertile part of a man. A king has one pursuit and that is the kingdom. What makes the king distinct from the others is that the other three are reflective of self-desire and self-development through the self whereas the king develops something bigger than he is by offering himself. The king does not have to be as glamorous as the title suggests - no nobility needed. Ultimately, a king lives for something bigger than himself. This is without question the most attractive, but not seductive, part of a man. Attractive because nothing drives a girl more wild than a man with purpose and confidence which are both necessary conditions for a man to achieve kingdom. But this is not a seductive part because a king does not focus on selfish pursuits - he is able to come out of his bodily desires in order to do what is necessary for the earth.This is the part of a man that takes responsibility for lives other than his own. A good father on some scale is a king in his own right. If he is able to vanquish thoughts of achievement in order to support the growth of another, this is the true strength in being king. Ultimately, the king can no longer gain in his own life. This stage of man sets in when all the accolades and accomplishments stop giving him a sense of doing well but rather serve as teaching points for new soon-to-be-kings. A king has created his destiny and now lives to see that the earth is bettered by it. In terms of the self, a king can only lose, but this is not a bad thing. It shows that the king has ownership. A man who starts a family and spends 80 hours a week at work so his children don't need to worry about having new books at school or a roof over their heads is a king. A man that is able to take the backseat when necessary and can allow his woman or partner to flourish as an individual rather than take away their right to sit in the throne is also a king. Whereas the lover, magician and warrior can only be one thing at a time in any situation, a king is all three at once and each decision he makes reflects one that is examined by each part of his being and approved unanimously. A man that is able to forge something greater, more important, more significant and overall, just bigger than he is has earned his right to sit atop a throne. A king's pleasures don't resemble the ones privy to the other 3 parts. A king's pleasure can only come in death, where his soul looks back at a life well lived and knows that he has done well. This is the most tragic but the most crucial to being a king. The only reminder he has that the path he has chosen is the right one to be walking is by looking upon the wonders he creates through other people, not himself. And the only way to confirm that his walk was well spent is to die and leave behind the only chance at living forever a man has because his wonders and creations live on long after he draws his final breath. Being a king is the only way to be immortalized.
So there you have it. I am not an expert in man-ology nor am I speaking for all men when I say these things. This is just how my experiences and exposures has led to my conception of manhood. I am not the man I want to be right now and certainly nowhere near the king I wish to be. It takes time and development. The important thing to consider is that everybody, male or female, has the ability to develop any part of their character that they so choose. This is how I choose to plan my developments. It's in the structure of the lover-warrior-magician-king that we can keep ourselves accountable to not just being a complete man, but a complete person. These are examples of the male experience in the world and these terms are pretty ambiguous. They serve as guidelines for parts of your personality that can be cultivated if you work at it long and hard enough. I'm sure before I know it I'm gonna change my mind completely on what it means to be a man, but this is what it is to me right now. Maybe super smart computers and really expensive microchips will be able to use science-fiction-magic-whatever to keep people living for thousands of years but until that time, this is the only way to make sure your life is eternal.
The modern English language is a strange one. It borrows from languages much older and much more elegantly structured. Quite characteristic of the English language is the following set of headaches: Random word spelling (silent letters? Seems pretty dumb to me), strange verb tenses, slang words that in their true definition mean something almost completely different when used in normalized conversation (I just killed that test!; The boss has really been riding me at work lately), almost no consistency whatsoever with the way we add prefixes or suffixes to words and so on and so forth. English can be so incredibly random and almost impossible to learn for an outsider. It presents itself as language that is better learned not from a textbook, but from immersing yourself into the English speaking world itself to try and adopt the strange expressions and spontaneous rule changes.
It's because of this randomness that we are quick to overlook and under-appreciate the true meanings of words (that and also because English is a language of almost endless synonyms; see: beautiful - pretty, cute, handsome, gorgeous, magnificent, adorable, awesome, good-looking, breath-taking, superduper, etc).
The reason I provided this pretext before telling why you are most undoubtedly going to fail whatever Resolution you have for 2014 will become obvious when we look at the word Resolution itself.
Stolen from Google:
res·o·lu·tion
ˌrezəˈlo͞oSHən/
noun
1.
a firm decision to do or not to do something.
"she kept her resolution not to see Anne any more"
the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.
Or, you can break it down as: re-solution. Re, in its most basic English application means to "do something again" and solution to mean "answer to".
Before I get further into this word, let's look at some other words that have this "do something again" prefix.
Recycle, Reclaim, Research
Recycle is an obvious one. We use this word to show that what was once used before can be used again and put back into the "cycle" of being used. Nowhere in this word (or with application of the word into the real world) do we insist on adding something to it. Rather, we say that it can be used again. If you recycle your garbage, you are literally committing to put that plastic bottle back into the cycle of consumption as it can be melted down to plastic and reshaped (there's that re again!) into something else.
Reclaim is another obvious one. What was once yours will be yours once again when you reclaim it. This word was much more popular in ancient times as empires would look to reclaim territory or position that they owned before the tides of war had lost it for them.
Are you noticing the trend? We'll do one more example.
Research. This one is more revealing of the importance of the re. Spending hours upon hours slaving away at a research paper seems like tedious work. Why does the professor want me to write a report on conclusions that other scholars have made about this subject? I'm not adding anything new. If anything, I'm just repeating what they've all said. Exactly. The answers already exist in the world. A research paper (or any paper for that matter) is not adding anything new to the world, it's discovering a truth about the world and showing other humans your findings. Our universe does not change because you write a paper about it. The only thing that changes is our understanding of the world. "Groundbreaking" papers aren't really groundbreaking at all. The ground is very much left unchanged, the picture of it just becomes more clear.
This is why your Resolution will fail. You're looking to do or be something you're not. You can't add anything new to the world or your family or yourself.
Resolution is finding the answer about yourself that you've had all this time. Being healthier in 2014, dropping those stubborn 15 pounds, making more money, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, doing better in school or at work, starting that business you always dreamed about - none of those are things that you have to create. Those are all things that you uncover about yourself. They're hidden. You have the solution already. That solution is you.
Do you want to know why you haven't achieved those goals yet? It's because right now, you're not you. Bare with me here. You're you plus 150 other things that cloud you or distract you from who you really are. The person you are gets so caught up living in a world of more more more that things you wish weren't important in your life or that eat up a lot of time and energy (Facebook, Twitter, gossip, shopping, television, Netflix, etc) become more prominent than basic desires of self-improvement, discipline, fulfilling your fantasies. We become so caught up on what happened on the last episode of Breaking Bad (which was phenomenal by the way) but for some reason it has become so taboo to be caught up on what happened on the last episode of you. Escapism becomes easier and easier the more you allow it to become your reality. If something is bothering you then it is up to you to remove it from your life instead of adding something new to distract you from it. This is how stress accumulates and becomes the reason you might overeat, oversleep, party too hard and just overall breakdown both physically and spiritually. When I was 17 I was told to pick a program in university that will allow me to find something I want to do for the rest of my life. In this, the conclusion was made that my purpose and passion in life was something to be found out in the world. Like an answer that was waiting for me to reach out and grab it if I only gave it the chance. I've reached a point now where I see the opposite is true. The answer was right but the question was wrong. The goal shouldn't be to find a school or job or hobby or passion that you might grow to love, but rather, let your passionate self dictate the things you do in life. You'll find that this way of thinking can put into perspective the number of filler things you add onto your life in order to help you "find the right answers". It's not your fault. You were given a ladder and asked to find something buried within yourself. I offer you rather a shovel, so that you can dig your way into understanding the answer that has long matured within you instead. I invite you then, if anything, to look at 2014 not as the year of doing more, but doing less. It is an attitude adjustment. The person you want to be is not out of reach, but rather, begging to come out. If your goal is to look better, then identify that as allowing your body to look the way it's supposed to as opposed to some figment you one day hope to achieve. If your goal is to be more optimistic then forget about how much more optimistic you can be and seek rather to be less pessimistic. You can't change who you are on a spiritual or even biological level, but you can certainly help that self emerge from the shadow that you've cast it in. This is how you will find the answer you've been looking for in 2014. This is how you will complete your Resolutions.
Further Insights into Goal Setting and Resolutions Something that had inspired me to think this way not only about my goals this year but for my life is a movie I watched a few days before New Years Eve on the bus to Montreal. Jiro Dreams of Sushiis more than a movie about a man and his sushi shop. It's about waking up every single day and dedicating your life to a single motivating passion. Jiro is 85 years old and the only sushi chef in the world to be awarded 3 Michelin stars (the most prestigious award in the restaurant industry). 3 stars means that the restaurant is worth traveling to the country in order to dine there. However, even with the awards and accolades, Jiro, who has been practicing sushi for over 60 years, continues to wake up every day in hopes that he can perfect his art. He stresses that money isn't important to him and there is a level of truth behind his eyes that make you believe this statement. This is a must watch for anybody looking to see what life could look like if you remove the distractions that cloud your judgment and your ambitions.
Another person you should learn to love is my personal hero/online mentor Elliott Hulse. His philosophy is one that very strongly shapes mine and his insights on just about any and every topic are worth listening to. Here's a video posted a few days ago about his thoughts on new year resolutions:
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLrI-dOLyDbRnPyUeWadsOg *Note: there is a great deal overlap in the subject content of Elliott's videos on both channels and they are not mutually exclusive Ted Talk A lot of the above philosophy has been inspired by what is known as living a Minimalist lifestyle. The idea is that less really is more and that the things you own end up owning you. Here is a short and informative video about trying to be more minimal (and therefore happier): http://www.ted.com/talks/graham_hill_less_stuff_more_happiness.html
